The completely loopy Little Yellow Rubber Ducky Official Race Marshal is finally retiring from Langara at the end of 2019, and in a couple of weeks’ time will be held what might quite possibly be the last of these thrilling water races, as 200 little yellow rubber duckies frantically paddle their way to aquatic glory. Look out for the blonde be-wigged Race Marshal over the next two weeks on campus, as he attempts to sell you a $2 ticket or two for this exciting event on the Library Pond, on Wednesday September 18, at Noon, with a chance to win the $100 First Prize!!! The easiest way to get rid of this Red-Robed Rascal of a salesman is to cough up a toonie (for the very worthy United Way cause, of course!), to sponsor a numbered ducky – and with a chance to win the $100 Cash Prize! (All ticket sale proceeds will go to Langara’s 2019 United Way campaign).
Yes, one hundred smackeroos is up for grabs for the person whose sponsored lucky ducky first crosses the finish-line – and as Abba once sang, “The winner takes it all . . . !”. To sponsor a duck, contact Alan Brain at email@example.com.
Thanks for your consideration,
Sociology instructor and United Way committee member